Submit a PFLAG Chapter for Inclusion
on Our Safe Chapters List

Location of PFLAG Chapter (city, state, country):

URL of Chapter Website (if any):

Your Email Address (so we can contact you if there are any problems):

The seven questions below are intended to help us determine whether your chapter provides a safe environment at which people who consider ourselves queer by choice can feel confident that our parents will learn to understand us better.

1. If someone asks this chapter how to help their parents better understand why they see their queerness as a healthy choice, will the chapter members be able to refer this person to resources such as this website, any of the websites listed on our Queer by Choice Links page, or a book such as Vera Whisman's Queer by Choice: Lesbians, Gay Men, and the Politics of Identity or Claudia Card's Lesbian Choices that could help this person's parents understand that they're not the only one who has ever perceived their queerness as a choice (nor are their parents the only parents whose children have come out as queer by choice)?

Yes No Why is it necessary for the chapter to do this?

2. If this chapter invites guest speakers to present evidence for the existence of a "gay gene," then (1) will the chapter also make it clear that not all lesbian, gay, transgendered or bisexual people believe or wish to believe that a "gay gene" exists, and (2) will the chapter be equally willing to provide a forum for anyone who might wish to speak about their pride in having chosen (in their opinion) to be queer, or the difficulties of coming out to parents as a queer by choice person in a world where so many of the books written for parents of queer children deny that queerness can ever be chosen, or their belief that queer people would be better off arguing against the existence of a "gay gene" in order to prevent people like Dr. Laura from being able to accuse us of being "biological errors"?

Yes No Why is it necessary for the chapter to do this?

3. Does this chapter avoid making monolithic statements such as "Homosexuality is Not a Choice!" on its website or in its community projects such as billboards, pamphlets or other public displays, since statements such as these do not accurately represent the opinions of the entire queer community and can make it even harder than it already is for parents to understand and accept their children who consider themselves queer by choice?

Yes No Why is it necessary for the chapter to do this?

4. If this chapter has a website that links to any sites or recommends any books that promote the message "Homosexuality is Not a Choice!", then does its website also link to sites that promote the message that homosexuality can be a choice (such as this site or any of the sites listed on our Choice Links page), so that if the parents of a person who considers herself or himself queer by choice visit all the links, they will not be left with a universally negative message about their child's identity?

Yes (or not applicable) No Why is it necessary for the chapter to do this?

5. If a parent asks you or other leaders of this chapter to recommend books on queerness, and you have no way of knowing for sure whether those parents' children consider themselves queer by choice, will you try to avoid recommending books that deny all possibility of choice (such as Eric Marcus's Is It a Choice? Answers to 300 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay and Lesbian People) and instead recommend books that make no statements about whether queerness is a choice or not (such as Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experiences)? (If a child has come out to their parents as queer by choice, then giving their parents books such as Eric Marcus's can encourage their parents to go into denial and say that their child is not a "real" queer person and does not understand what queerness really is, since according to Eric Marcus it can never be a choice.)

Yes No Why is it necessary for the chapter to do this?

6. If someone at this chapter starts making constant repeated statements at meetings such as "The reason it's wrong to discriminate against gay people is that they didn't choose to be gay" or "Ask any gay person, they'll all tell you they didn't choose to be gay," will someone else at the meeting be mindful of the effect that such constantly repeated statements could have on parents of queer by choice people and occasionally try to present a more choice-friendly perspective by asking questions such as "Do you think children have the right to choose who to marry and choose their own religious beliefs? If they were able to choose to be gay, why wouldn't they have the right to make that choice?" or "Are you aware that there are some gay people who say they've chosen to be gay and that it was a good choice?"

Yes No Why is it necessary for the chapter to do this?

7. Do you think that most of the leaders of this chapter would be very supportive if one of their own previously heterosexual-identified children were to come to them in the near future and say, "Mom and Dad, I don't believe I was born gay but I've chosen to become gay and I'm confident that I'm making the right decision"?

Yes No Why is it necessary for the chapter to do this?

If you answered "Yes" to all of these seven questions, your chapter qualifies as a "safe chapter." Congratulations! But if you answered "No" to any of them, please reconsider your chapter's policies and atmosphere and take the necessary steps for your chapter to qualify as a "safe chapter."

Regardless of whether you chapter qualifies for our "Safe Chapters List, you may also choose to submit a supportive quote below. A quote alone will not qualify you for the Safe Chapters List but it could get you listed on our list of supportive quotes, and might thereby give queer by choice people a better idea of what kind of support they can count on finding at your chapter.

Optional Section

Would you like to submit any comments for inclusion on our quotes pages?

Your Name (if you wish us to specify the person we're quoting):