Queer by
Choice: Interview with Gayle Madwin by Dr. J. Hughes, from
Changesurfer Radio, October 2001."The Label Table" by Lauren, 2005. "You decided to try to be attracted to people of all genders and races and sizes and amounts of hair, and you found that you eventually succeeded?"
"We're Here, We're Queer, We're Genetically Determined?" by Deborah Gould and others at the University of Chicago, Illinois, USA, from the e-zine Broadside. "Why is the decision I make with another woman—to spread her legs, put my fist inside her cunt, and twirl her clit with my tongue—a basis for granting or taking away my civil rights?"
"Why 'But I Was Born This Way!' Is the Wrong Answer" by SirBruce, from Daily Kos, Jun 10, 2007. "I chose to be bisexual, and chose to engage in both homosexual and heterosexual behavior. And there's nothing wrong with that choice."
"If We Wanted to Be Straight, We Would Be: Attempts to Identify a Genetic Basis for Homosexuality Refuse to Accept That Sexual Desire Is a Social Construct" by Julie Bindel, from The Guardian, U.K., December 14, 2004. "While understandable that, as a response to horrific homophobia that still prevails in most cultures and societies, some in the gay community wish to pass the buck for their choice of sexual identity to a rogue gene, it plays into the hands of reactionary geneticists whose agenda is terrifying. They are seeking to prove that those outside of the white, able-bodied heterosexual norm are inferior. We must not collude. . . . It is a positive choice, and we do not need anyone with a test tube telling us otherwise."
And a commentary on Julie Bindel's article linked above: "Bi by Choice?" from Bi Community News,, U.K., February 2005. "Bindel's vision is limited to a choice of 'hets v dykes' - as captured by her concluding but unfunny reversal: 'Heterosexuals? Some of them are okay, but I wouldn't want my daughter marrying one.' What is potentially far more subversive is the plurality of desires which might bloom if we were all capable of genuine 'freedom of choice' as regards sexuality and, to adapt an old Tory Party slogan (!), had the Right to Bi."
Frank Aqueno's Queer by Choice website
"Signing On Versus Coming Out: Sometimes It Really Is a Choice" by Kevyn Abernathy, March 7, 2007. "I realize that there is tremendous political capital invested in the idea that we are born gay, but I am here to say that for some of us, it's a choice. . . . Which is why I don't say I 'came out.' I prefer to say that I 'signed up.'"
"Morality and Homosexuality: Gays Must Take Up the Affirmative Argument" by Ron Gold, from the Los Angeles Times. Ron Gold was one of the five original founders of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force (one of the biggest queer rights organizations in the USA), and he was also the driving force behind the movement that got the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality from its list of "mental illnesses" in 1973. He also sees queerness as "a moral choice," and he gave Frank Aqueno permission to reprint this article on Frank's Queer by Choice website.
"Queer by Choice" by donnaidh_sidhe, February 10, 2004. "Finally, the statement 'why would anyone choose to be gay?' is homophobic in that the speaker, who is queer, is saying that he or she cannot see any redeeming qualities in his or her sexuality, finding the negative social consequences of queerness so overwhelming that the joy one can find in one's sexuality is overpowered by them."
"Queer by Choice, Again" by Julianna Adalia Van Der Lee, February 12, 2005. "I can accept, for instance, that genes or hormonal cycles hold sway over how often I'd want to engage in carnal activities, or influence rhythm or duration. But I can't accept the existence of a gene that causes me to be singularily obsessed with the form and function of my partner's genitals. Or one that forces my entire social behavior to correspond to my own equipment, and whether any opportunities for procreation present themselves."
"Choosing to Be Gay" by Todd VerBeek, from Network News: The Newsletter of the Lesbian & Gay Community Network of Western Michigan, November 1992. "Each of them has made a . . . (dare I say it?) choice about their sexuality. For that matter, so has each of us."
"For Gay Males Who Think Sexual Orientation Can Never Change" by Queer_Outsider, November 25, 2004. "It could happen to you, even if you've pretty consistently been attracted to the same sex all your life."
"The Process of Coming Out as a Queer Woman in Pakistan" by Queer_Outsider, October 11, 2004. "Stop believing in 'gay gene'. Stop believing that sexuality is something no-one has any control over."
"Queer by Choice? The Notion That a Person Can Make a Conscious Decision Regarding His or Her Sexuality Throws a Wrench into the Nature/Nurture Debate" by Kim Ficera, from Fairfield County Weekly, Connecticut, USA, May 31, 2000. A fantastic article on queer choice and the dangers that queer by choice people face when attempting to turn to PFLAG for support during our coming-out process. This article also later appeared in the Hartford Advocate, the New Haven Advocate, the Westchester County Weekly, Flipside: Canada's Alternative Daily Newspaper, and forPLU: The E-zine for People Like Us. Contains interviews with QueerByChoice.com owner Gayle Madwin and with Frank Aqueno, the owner of another Queer by Choice website.
"Choosing the Road Less Traveled: Don't Ostracize Lesbians Who Turn to Men. Most People Are Bisexual and Choose to Be Gay or Straight" by Jennifer Vanasco, from Southern Voice, Friday, February 11, 2005. "Every time I make an allusion to the idea that we choose our sexual orientations, I get flooded with pissed off mail. That's pretty interesting to me, because it's not like I'm saying, 'Sexual orientation is a choice, and if you choose gay, that's bad.' All I'm saying is, 'We choose.' . . . I am thrilled to have chosen lesbianhood. I consider myself a gay activist. I feel like I am privileged to be gay."
"Just Not Getting the Strategy of the Gay Movement..." by Zippy Kondracky, November 10, 2004. "I'm bi because I frickin' wanna be. Which is what surprises the heck out of me when I hear gay activists. If I hear one more gay activist tell me that s/he was born that way, I'm going to scream . . . I chose to be bi. I never thought about it until college, I decided to try it, and I've been pleased with my decision since."
"Fat = Gay?" by Dot, December 13, 2004. "I believe the queer community made a pretty stupid political mistake when it took the route of saying gayness is something one is born to. . . . What if it isn't? What if gayness is as much about behavior as identity? What if identity is mutable? What if one can choose to be queer? Does that make it okay to hate queer folk? . . . Really, the most effective argument in favor of any minority group's rights is more analogous to the right to religious freedom than anything else - one chooses one's religion, and that's a defended choice. Period. No 'are people born Catholic, or do they choose it?' debate needed."
"The Day I Decided to Become a Lesbian" by Clare Sudbery, Manchester, U.K., author of the novel The Dying of Delight. "[Y]ou could, if you wanted to, say that I personally was 'converted' to lesbianism. By various filthy radicals. Or, at the very least, encouraged. And very glad I am too, because it was one of the best things that ever happened to me."
Interesting message board discussions on "Essentialism", 2000, and "Homosexuality: Genetic or Acquired?", 2000, both from UnitedRadicalCommunities.com.
A message board discussion on "Choosing Queerness in the Third World", 2004, from the Curve Magazine message boards
Another message board discussion on "Queer by Choice", 2003, from GentleSpirit.com.
"Sexuality and Choice" by Alan Hamilton, with a few added comments from his partner Pete Chvany. "People who think or feel, for whatever reason, that some or much of sexuality is, at least for them, the result of conscious or unconscious choice, also feel abandoned by a queer liberation movement that does not acknowledge their experience as queers as valid. . . . any of us, of all sexual orientations and preferences, are concerned that the case for queer civil rights is based on a politics of disempowerment ('we don't have any choice about our sexuality') rather than one of empowerment ('all people deserve the right to be themselves and to make their own choices.')"
"Is Homosexuality a Choice?" by Kimberly Hayes, from suite101.com, March 1, 2001. Look, an article inspired by QueerByChoice.com! "At first glance [at the QueerByChoice.com website], I thought, 'They're mocking homosexuality! What about people that have always been gay, who struggle with their same-sex attractions?' But this site [QueerByChoice.com] is all about throwing away the labels, acknowledging that sexuality is fluid and forever changing."
"My Queer Life Is Not a Birth Defect" by Joey Manley, posted to alt.politics.homosexuality by Joey Manley, July 8, 1996. Formerly available as a videotaped speech from Free Speech TV, with music by Frank Moore, but according to Joey Manley, the only existing copies of the video have now been lost.
"The Sexual Blur" by Ted Gideonse, from The Advocate, June 24, 1997. "When Anne Heche sat down next to her girlfriend, Ellen DeGeneres, on The Oprah Winfrey Show and said, 'I was not gay before I met her,' Oprah Winfrey's audience—and Winfrey herself—were a bit bewildered. 'That confuses me,' Winfrey said."
"Choice in Sexual Orientation: The Sword That Cuts Both Ways" by Patricia Nell Warren (author of the novel The Front Runner, among others), from Whosoever: An Online Magazine for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Christians, Vol. 2, No. 2, September/October 1997. "[A] gay or lesbian or bisexual couple who decide to have a loving, monogamous relationship are not operating blindly off natural dynamics. They choose to live together that way. Straight and gay people have a right to make choices about their sexual orientation."
"Daring to be Deviant" by Robert Rose, from The Ninth Street Center Journal, Vol. 6, Autumn 1986. "The idea of choosing to be gay seems ludicrous to most people, even most gay people. Who would choose pain and confusion over pleasure and certainty? Those to whom truth and right are absolutely essential to their psychological well-being. Homosexuality is part of our capacity as human beings, and individuals with enough honesty and courage cannot deny it."
Queer by
Choice: Interview with Gayle Madwin by Dr. J. Hughes, from
Changesurfer Radio, October 2001.
"Tale from the East" by Hong, from Oasis Magazine, March 2000. "And at that point of my life I was defiant toward all things, I literally changed overnight, became gay for one. I always tell people that I chose to be gay, not born gay. Is that so hard to believe? . . . Is the idea of me being gay [built] upon my defiance of the orthodox?"
"Being Gay Is A Choice: A Different Perspective On The Old Argument" by Dave Cornwell. "I choose to be gay! I make the choice full and free. I care not whether I was born this way or whether it is the cause of environment or poor parenting. The choice is mine and it is right. I am gay. I want to be gay. Pat Robertson, Pope Paul, or my bishop do not have the right to trifle with my choice. It is mine. Even if I were born with absolutely no pre-disposition to homosexuality, it is still my right to choose to be gay. Today I make that choice. I'm proud to make it."
"Kate Bornstein: A Transgender Transsexual Postmodern Tiresias." An interview with Kate Bornstein by Shannon Bell, in which the Kate proclaims, "I make it clear that I am a transsexual by choice and not by pathology. . . . Gender is a cult. Membership in gender is not based on informed consent. There is no way out without being ridiculed and harassed."
Daryl Vocat's Queer by Choice website. "I am told that in order for me to fight for queer rights that I should tell people that my sexuality is biologically determined, that I was 'born this way.' I can't. That is like saying that I was born with an unwanted affliction and assumes that it is necessary and even desirable to become heterosexual. Sexuality is not an innate orientation as most would believe, but rather a preference that in some way biology may play a role in defining."
"Choices"
RealVideo from Dyke TV. Contains interviews with a variety of
women who express all different views about whether or not they
chose to be queer.
"Any Choice of Sexuality Remains Valid" by Kevyn Jacobs, from the Kansas State Collegian, Sept 24, 1995. This is an interesting one because Kevyn Jacobs had previously asserted in Oasis Magazine in 1994 that sexual orientations could not be chosen. By 1995, he'd changed his mind. "This may come as a shock to some card-carrying liberals, but I do know some self-identified lesbians on this campus who will tell you that they chose to be lesbian as a political act. And do you know what? I believe them."
"Tribe" by Dermod Moore, from his column "Bootboy: Journeys of a Man-Lovin' Man," Hot Press, Ireland, February 4, 1999. "Somewhere along the line, I think it's important to choose to be gay. I don't just mean acceptance of the fact, although God only knows how difficult, sometimes impossible, it is to accept that one is different. . . . I mean at some later stage, one chooses to join the tribe of those like you, and take on the privileges and support and responsibilities of being a life-long member as if it is the most precious thing in the world to you. For what draws you together is not that you share similar tastes in shopping and fucking, but the capacity to love."
"When I Decided to Live as a Lesbian" by Minami, translated from Japanese by Ayako Hattori
"Choice & PFLAG" by Toni Pizanie, from the queer magazine Ambush, October 1999, about QueerByChoice member Frank Aqueno's ongoing battle with the New Orleans chapter of P-FLAG.
"Can Straight People Change?" by Jim D. Maynard, from NationalGayLobby.com, December 9, 1999. "As a sociologist, I am very leery of any theory of biological determinism to explain human behavior. The argument that human sexuality is biologically determined is contrary to social scientific research which suggests that sexuality is largely socially constructed."
"Even Educated Fleas Do It: Dave Hill on Animal Instincts" by Dave Hill, from The Sydney Morning Herald, Australia, September 9, 2000. The scoop on how David Bowie inspired Dave Hill to choose to be queer!
"Bisexuality's Appeal is Freedom of Choice" by Suzanne Curley, from Newsday, September 1995. "Nowadays people see that they have a choice, that there are options, and that feelings that they may have had (of attraction for people of both sexes) are real feelings."
"The Right to Be Queer" by Rose Shuman, from the Brown Daily Herald, Brown University, Providence, Rhode Island, USA, December 6, 1999. "There are a ton of biologically set cases, just as Diaz said. But I know for certain that there’s also a huge sector of folks who are queer partly by choice. Like me."
"Become a lesbian TODAY! It's FREE!" by Ben. "Impotence will never bother you. Contraception is unnecessary. You have a lower risk of catching STIs than heterosexuals or gay men. And you know all those annoying things men do? You need never live with this again!"
"A Queer by Choice" music video by Kevin Gibbs,
2002.
"We Can Choose to Be Gay" by Tucker Lieberman, gay FTM transsexual. "I did not arbitrarily decide to be a gay transsexual. I never would have chosen this particular journey; it would have appeared, from the outside, all pain and no light. Only in the midst of my journey am I finally able to say that the view from here is great. Of course it's been rocky, but if I were to claim I have no choice to be here, that would only increase my feelings of victimization. To eliminate conscious decisions from one's sexuality is to shrink one's humanity."
Willa Young's and Michael Scarce's letters to the editor of Columbus Alive magazine in Columbus, Ohio, USA, March 25, 1998, complaining about a column in which gay writer Phil Martin asserted that being gay is not a choice. As Michael Scarce writes, "Some of us do, in fact, choose to be queer (attraction and all) and Phil Martin damn well knows it."
"Sexuality in Chasing Amy" by Luke David. "The issue of choice that is raised in the film is interesting, as it suggests that for Alyssa, lesbianism was not a given, it was a social rather than biological/genetic construction."
Gary's Queer by Choice website. "Queer by Choice! believes that everyone has the right to choice in their personal relationships."
"Winning the Debate" by Talmadge of PFLAG Anchorage/Southcentral Alaska. "Is homosexuality a choice? In the past I have always made the case that homosexuality is not a choice. However, I have recently found reason to believe that homosexuality is a choice—for some people."
Book Review by Julia Jones discussing Vera Whisman's book Queer by Choice: Lesbians, Gay Men, and the Politics of Identity
At Kersplebedeb.com, you can buy
these Queer by Choice buttons co-designed by Gayle Madwin of
QueerByChoice.com and Kersplebedeb of Kersplebedeb.com. Last time
I checked, they were $1 each (US$) plus shipping and handling,
and they were located in the "New Stuff" button
gallery. (And no, I'm not making any money off of
this—I mention it solely from the genuine belief that queer
by choice people may be interested.)