Does saying queerness can be chosen encourage parents
to try to raise their children to be heterosexual?

Does saying queerness is genetic stop them from trying? Do homophobic parents actually even care whether they can change their child's feelings, as long as they can change their child's behavior—in other words, intimidate their child into pretending to be heterosexual?

No matter what you tell parents about what causes queer feelings, parents know that having a queer-supportive environment and openly queer role models makes it more likely that their children will come to terms with their queer feelings instead of allowing their parents to intimidate them into an unhappy heterosexual marriage. And as long as they know that, parents who don't want their children to be queer are going to go right on trying to deprive their children of queer role models and queer-supportive environments. The only way to change that is to make the parents want their children to be queer. We believe that letting parents know of the existence of proud, happy queer people who choose to be queer is every bit as good a way as any other of trying to accomplish this.

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©2000 by Gayle Madwin. All rights reserved.