Reasons to Try or Not Try
a Same-Gender Relationship

As we explained on the "Reasons to Try Same-Gender Sex" page, whenever you make a major decision in life you should ask yourself the simple questions "What good will come of it if I do this?" and "What harm will come of it if I do this?" So in the case of exploring same sex feelings, it works the same way. And just as with opposite-gender relationships, a decision about whether to have a relationship with someone of your own gender ultimately has to be based on how you feel about them as an individual. A good reason to have a committed relationship with someone of your own gender would be if that person makes you happy and you love them and they love you in return.

It doesn't necessarily make sense to try to figure out whether you'll ever want to have a relationship with a member of your own gender at a time in your life when you don't even have a particular member of your own gender in mind to fall in love with yet. If you are ever in a relationship, that relationship will be with a specific human being, not with some abstract idea of a "Member of the Same Gender" that you may be trying to envision right now. And there will be at least two people making decisions about whether to start and continue that relationship.

If you do have a particular person of your own gender in mind who is interested in a relationship with you, then your decision will have to be made for the same reasons that you would decide to have a relationship with someone of any gender. Do they make you happy? Do you love them? Do they love you in return?

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